Dear Annie: I met my husband in junior high and chased him for many of our teen years and even into early adulthood. One day, out of the blue, he sent me a message. I replied, and we talked every day — and night — for months. At that time, I was living in Cincinnati, and he was in our hometown of Toledo.

A mutual friend had passed away, so we decided to go to the funeral together. I drove from Cincinnati to Toledo and picked him up. We ended up spending the weekend together. I went back home on Monday and ended up moving back to Toledo on Tuesday. Everything was perfect. He had asked me to marry him, and we got married.

He is the most loving, caring and hardworking man I know. Nothing could go wrong, so I thought.

But then, in September, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Since then, I feel so alone, and it is as if he isn’t here anymore. We barely cuddle or talk anymore. It makes me ask if he even loves me anymore. Is he seeing someone else? Or is he scared? He normally never acts like this, so I am confused and hurt — Confused Cancer Patient Totally in Love

Dear Confused: I’m sorry to hear about your health issues, and that you’re experiencing feeling alone right now.

Yes, your husband is probably very scared and does not know how to handle his feelings. Sometimes, when people don’t know how to handle negative emotions, they choose to push others away.

If he acts like he doesn’t care about you or tries to put space between you two, he mistakenly thinks that then he won’t feel as bad if he loses you. He is repressing his feelings by going on the offensive and pushing you away.

Seek the help of a professional therapist, or perhaps a group at the hospital, who could help you both deal with this very difficult time in your life.

While your husband gets himself together (with a trained professional), continue to lean on other friends and family who will support you.

Wishing you a very speedy recovery.

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